Diary of a Self Hating Supervillain

This is the personal blog of an anarchist, aspiring feminist ally, masochist, queer, pansexual, math nerd, and tuba player. I am male bodied and have lots of male privilege, but I enjoy presenting in ways that have been socially constructed as feminine and I identify as genderqueer. Oh, and I have Asperger's. I post some NSFW or 18+ content, but typically it's just sexually explicit text lately, not images.

January 27, 2013 at 5:56pm

One thing I remember most vividly from my childhood as I get into anti-oppression and disability rights politics is the amount of internalized ableism I and others I knew had. 

I’ll illustrate with two stories:

When I was a kid I developed a very hierarchical view of intellect, with academic abilities corresponding to one’s worth. While I have autism, I also have above average academic aptitudes. However, special ed students generally are considered less intelligent and less academically capable. So I actively attempted to hide that I was in special ed, distance myself from my friends in special ed programs, etc. This is what internalized ableism looks like.

I also went to a summer camp for kids with sensory integration difficulties. Most of us were “high functioning” autistic types, and not really visibly disabled. Those who were more obviously disabled (those who had speech impediments, speech delays, learning delays, etc.) almost always ended up bullied by the other kids, although the camp counselors tried to stop that bullying. This is what internalized ableism looks like. 


  1. hatredismymuse reblogged this from selfhatingsupervillain
  2. ananiujitha reblogged this from selfhatingsupervillain
  3. selfhatingsupervillain reblogged this from cyberdesert and added:
    That last part describes so much of my childhood social interaction.
  4. cyberdesert reblogged this from selfhatingsupervillain and added:
    Weird I also am high functioning autistic, all though I never went to any summer camps I was always in “academic...